Friday, December 08, 2006

L'Agneau Mort

Mr Dale has a preview of Girlie Dave's speech to the EU today, which he interprets as Dave 'Lambasting' the EU. As if.

"Last year the EU made helping lift Africa out of poverty a priority. But many of the EU's policies are making poverty in developing countries worse. The EU remains committed to a largely unreformed CAP, an economic and humanitarian disaster which pushes up food prices for the poorest people in Europe and helps lock the developing world in poverty. And the EU still has higher trade barriers against poor countries than it does against rich. That's not good enough and it needs to change."
So we (the UK) are harming poor countries by enacting harmful policies because being in the EU means we can't do otherwise? And Dave's solution to that problem is to try and change the policies of the EU - which presumably suit all of the other countries just fine as they dreamt them up? The simple answer, of course, is to leave the EU and then we could trade with these countries as we see fit. Or if that's a step too far for poor Dave, then let's indulge in a bit of unilateral action and change our trading terms with the poor countries on our own and break EU rules (ooh er!). They would either try and punish us or be shamed into following suit. Sounds fun and principled doesn't it?

The EU has not had its accounts signed off for 11 years in a row. The Commission continues to use an accounting system that the EU's former Chief Accountant says is wide open to fraud. If a company director failed to sign off accounts for 11 years, they would probably be heading for jail. It's not good enough and it's got to change."

Oooh I bet they're scared now. That's twice you've 'lambasted' them and told them it's just jolly well not good enough and it's got to change. You sound like one of those schoolmasters who got jolly cross with us and we all desperately tried to keep a straight face during the 'telling off' and then burst into hysterics the moment he left the room, marching about being 'jolly cross' at each other. Do you really think the rest of the snouts in that rich steaming trough give a rat's arse what you think about the accounts, so long as we all keep pouring an ever-increasing supply of gravy in? And if you are serious, then we are one of those jail-dodging directors too by participating in this giant fraud. The only honourable action is to resign and tell the shareholders why you can no longer be part of such a corrupt organisation. And save us all a bloody fortune in the process. Do you have a particular aversion to being lifted on people's shoulders and being carried through the streets of London to tumultuous applause?

Europe's Kyoto target is to reduce carbon emissions by 8 per cent by 2012. But with just six years to go, carbon emissions are down by less than 1 per cent. Twelve member states have actually gone backwards and increased their emissions. The EU is set to miss its Kyoto emission targets. That's not good enough and it's got to change."

Now you're just getting tedious. The class are going to tell you to fuck off to your face in a minute. Even if the science of global warming wasn't completely half-baked, the only certainty is that the developing countries of the world are not going to stop the rush to embrace our lifestyle (and why should they?) and the actions of the EU won't amount to a gnat's fart in the overall scheme of things. But that won't stop you forcing us to pay over and over again so that the Chinese can all have mercs and air conditioning. Fuck you!

In 2000 Europe's leaders said they would make the EU the most competitive knowledge-based economy in the world by 2010. EU politicians repeated their call for economic reform in 2002, 2003, 2004 and 2005. But since 1998 new EU regulations have cost business £37 billion.

And your point is? Oh, I see. EU's politicians have 'called for' something every year since God knows when, but now it's you 'calling for' it, it'll happen. Of course. Why didn't we think of that before? You complete and utter prat. Just get the fucking £37 billion back and refuse to hand over another penny and we might stop flicking ink bombs at each other and start listening to you.

"We will be the champions for real change in Europe. We are a new generation. We have no time for the culture of hopelessness that has plagued the way the EU has often attempted to address the big global challenges we face. It's because we want to see a future for the EU and believe in a strong Europe that we want to make the EU confront its failings. The next generation of Europeans wants a continent to be proud of. They want Europe to be a force for good, to lead by example, to be a shining symbol of progress.

Blah blah...Champions..blah generation...blah...big global..(as opposed to small global?)..blah..challenges...blah blah.. future ...blah.. generation...blah...proud...blah..force for good...blah blah... shining... blah blah... progress...blah blah....reach out.... blah blah..

Ooh I just ticked off all the words on my management consultant-speak bingo card.

Fucking HOUSE!

And they want to reach out with enthusiasm to the countries that aspire to join
the EU."

No they fucking don't! They want to confront them as they step off the ferry at Dover with sharp farm implements and tell them to get fucking back on the boat, or start fucking swimming back to where they came from.

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